If you Give a Dog a Bone …
If you give a dog a bone…
He’ll take it…
He likes bones
he might even chew it …
for a minute…
until he finds your nick nack on the shelf…
and when you take your nick nack away
and give him a new toy
which put you out $ 4.99
He will shred it
in less than 3 minutes
and eat a sweet potato instead
so you try a different kind of bone
a new bone….
and he yawns at you
So you try putting peanut butter on the bone
He likes peanut butter
but he licks it off
in less than 3 minutes
and then he chews your wall instead
so you soak the bone in hot water
maybe it will make the flavor irresistible
and he won’t get into mischief
because he will finally chew the bone
NOT so Much
apparently He is dreaming of how to get to space
so he can eat the planets
Maybe if you soak the other bone
Maybe the flavor of THAT bone will be irresistible
and he will stop chasing the cat
and stop eating your curtains
when the cat jumps in the window sill for safety
Or NOT
Maybe
If you buy a more expensive “bone” for 8.99
he will chew it
for a 1/2 an hour
if you are lucky
but tomorrow the cupboards will be bare again
and you will be out 8.99
for a 1/2 hour of peace
but then
he will eat the eyes and nose out of an old stuffy
at least the kids didn’t love that stuffy too much
at least he isn’t chewing his $20 leash in half
or chewing the legs of your tables
At least he is not eating your friends shoes
or your daughters shin guards
or your laundry bag
Yep ~ if you give a dog an expensive bone
you might get a 1/2 hour break from
pulling tampon boxes out of his mouth
or chasing him around the house
with flour in his mouth
or
You may not find shoes
chewed up on your floor
for a 1/2 an hour or so.
But you press on…
in hopes that one day this maniac Puppy will grow up
and stop chewing so aggressively
SO ALL YEAR LONG
you keep finding expensive dog toys or bones
and you buy “one more” expensive toy made especially for dogs
or maybe 2 new toys
just in case this toy is the ONE he can’t destroy
but you are WRONG
every. single. time.
and you wonder why you keep spending your money
on the manic dog who can chew through anything
in 3 minutes flat.
and you end up giving him the recycling
because it is free
even if he does shred it ALL. OVER. your living room
or you end up
letting him rip apart your old couch pillow
that you never liked anyway
and your living room looks like a tornado hit it
LITERALLY
but since you can’t be out doing this all day
and you can only borrow your friends dog so many days a week
you surrender
you pick your battles
you choose to let the dog shred pillows
and shred cardboard
and shred stuffys
all over your living room floor
Every. Single. Day.
for 9 months straight.
at least
the puppy isn’t continuing to ruin your walls
NO Merlin!
and he isn’t
eating your new 2 lb weights
(that is NOT a bone Merlin!)
So
You just keep buying 1.29 stuffys at the Good will
once in a while you are STUPID and buy another dog toy for 6.99
and wonder why he won’t play with it
like he did on the first day you brought it home!
and
You HOPE
You PRAY
that ONE day
This TOO SHALL PASS
because you LOVE him
even if he is a crazy psycho chewing mutt
He does make your kids happy.
This is my life with Merlin ~
Cute isn’t he…
He is starting to mellow out
A LITTLE
see
small short windows of HOPE
Merlin will have his FIRST birthday next week
the day before Sammy’s 8th birthday!!
I know turning One will not stop the chewing
but I am starting to see light at the end of the destruction tunnel
I think.
Until then.
Laughter people…
LAUGHTER
it is how I cope!
well.. and stuffing and recycling all over my floor
just keep laughing
just keep laughing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(sorry Julianna ~ I know this post does NOT give you Hope!) =)
June 9th, 2010 saat: 11:13 am
oh dear! hahaha…I’m joining you with laughter! literally laughing through your whole post!
So…glad that you can laugh! Merlin is just too dog-gone cute!
Blessings & Aloha!
June 9th, 2010 saat: 11:26 am
Sounds a lot like what I’m going through with potty training!!
But how could you resist such a cute face!
June 9th, 2010 saat: 11:28 am
I have a puppy too. He’s getting fixed on Friday, meaning 2 wks in a cone. He’s little, so not as destructive, but I can relate – there is nothing they won’t eat or chew. I have a 4 yr old daughter too, so we’ve found pieces of Polly Pockets, Petshop Pets and crayons in his poop. I know what you mean, they grab stuff and run under the bed or hide out to destroy their treasure.
June 9th, 2010 saat: 12:15 pm
Oh my goodness! He is quite the handful. Thank goodness you have patience with that! He can only get better, right?
June 9th, 2010 saat: 12:41 pm
Soooo cute! And, I love that white & red Pyrex bowl!!
June 9th, 2010 saat: 12:47 pm
Okay you have helped me a little in my “I really want a dog but hubby doesn’t” dilemna. I am quite happy with my unchewed house, I think I might stick with it for a while! 🙂
June 9th, 2010 saat: 12:55 pm
That chewing and shredding is insane!!! Your patience is remarkable!!! He must be awfully cute and sweet when he’s not chewing.
June 9th, 2010 saat: 1:18 pm
Been there…..ack! I feel your pain! Hopefully he will outgrow it! Ours did, but man it was hard waitingi!!!!
June 9th, 2010 saat: 1:44 pm
noooooooo! this is a window into a world I do not need! yikes…i’m on to the trainer NOW!
June 9th, 2010 saat: 1:50 pm
LOL!! I am so glad our puppy isn’t much of a chewer. Her thing is if we don’t notice her standing at the door to go out, she will quietly sneak into my kids’ rooms and do her business there. And that look incredibly guilty until I find it, and then ask to be picked up because she knows she’s in trouble but really, really cute.
She’s lucky I love her! 😛 (and she turns one in a few weeks!)
June 9th, 2010 saat: 2:12 pm
If you give THIS dog a bone…he’ll laugh in your face!!
ha ha
I’m sorry, I really am..but it is hilarious.
June 9th, 2010 saat: 3:51 pm
He is SO SO cute! This post cracked me up! Thanks for the smile! I have never had a dog (more of a cat person) but the pursuit of the perfect bone reminds me when my son was an infant and I would have bought him a space shuttle if it promised to amuse him while I took a hot shower.
June 9th, 2010 saat: 5:32 pm
Sorry…too funny! Especially the tampon box!
I am a die hard dog lover,but I do not miss those puppy days!!:)
Enjoy the night
June 9th, 2010 saat: 5:38 pm
I laughed soooo hard… especially since I had a St. Bernard who ate our giant wooden picnic table… another reason I am not prepared to go back to being a pet owner.
Thanks for the giggles, jenny, love you!
June 9th, 2010 saat: 6:51 pm
OmGosh he is the dennis the mennis of doggies. LOL That is too funny. I mean the more pictures your were showing the harder i was laughing. That my friend is why we got us a doggie and not a puppie. past the teething and chew stage. BAaa Haaa. Cracking up. Tampons…where did he find those. Thanks for the laugh.
June 9th, 2010 saat: 7:08 pm
I am really loving my crazy dog right now! Thanks for the reminder that it could be worse! Not sure how you can laugh but I am glad cause that is the cutest little guy! Hope there is some relief soon!
June 9th, 2010 saat: 7:31 pm
This has me cracking up! Your dog is so adorable. Maybe that’s why God makes kids and animals cute, right? So they don’t get in as much trouble?
I wanted to thank you for your comment today regarding comparison. I agree with you- sometimes surrendering comparison IS a daily battle. I struggle with it all the time. Thanks again for sharing, and I hope you’ll keep checking in.
Good luck with the cutie pie 🙂
June 10th, 2010 saat: 5:13 am
Ok. that made me feel so much better. My dog, Charlie, has chewed my window casings, countless toys, dog beds, plants, etc. We bought a toy that says it is indestructable. Yeah, right. It lasted 2 days. Our dogs should have a Chew Off together! 🙂
June 10th, 2010 saat: 9:41 am
Hi Jenn
He sounds like such a mad dog but I tell how much you and your kids love him. Thanks for sharing all his mischief!
Lindsay
x
June 10th, 2010 saat: 10:05 am
Oh man – this dog seems to be a big challenge – but he’s also irresistible cute 🙂