Seizing My Day

Because of this BEAST

I will never ever EVER walk barefoot in my backyard again!

Ever!

*shudder*

I will wear boots.

Big, Knee high, leather, work boots.

with Steel toes!

IF I even GO in my own back yard ever again!

Bad bad kitty!

brought this home yesterday!

I mean as if dead bird parts are not horrible enough to deal with!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!??

Nana proudly brought that horrible slithery reptile to my back door!!

*shudder*

I thought maybe it was dead

since it did not move the entire time I freaked out!

I may have screamed like a little girl

ran around like a chicken

cried for my mommy

sucked my thumb

and made an absolutely frantic idiotic display of myself in front of the neighbors

and my children

where on earth is my man when I NEED him!! ??

how could he go to work at a time like this??

*cough, cough*

After I acted like a raving lunatic

I bravely poked the darn thing with my shovel

and it did NOT move

therefore I figured it was dead

safe to pick it up with the shovel

and HUCK it into the woods behind my house

like we do with all the other dead critters we “receive”

there are perks to having scary trees that blow in the wind behind your house

anywho

Look at those injuries (if you dare)

surely it was dead right?

Alright!

I guess maybe he IS looking right at me

with those beady little creepy eyes

planning its attack…

creepy snake!

anyway yesterday I was NOT rational

I was terrified!

I was trying to save my babies from the horrible slithering creepy reptile

that the stupid cat drug in

so I figured he was dead because I wanted it to be dead!

that would have made the whole thing less horrible!

So I picked the darn twisted thing up in the shovel

and you know what it did?

stuck out its tongue at me

and slithered right off the shovel

at which point I really flipped my lid

and dropped the shovel, screamed like a little girl, and did the “I am freaked out dance” before I jumped onto the steps of the porch waving my arms like a lunatic… screaming the whole time of course!  I nearly peed my pants and cried all at once!   or something like that!

and then I asked my daughter for the camera again

(she had been holding since I took the “I thought it was dead” picture)

So ~ I sucked it up

stepped off the porch

and tried to capture his picture slithering around

sticking out his tongue at me

before I bravely chopped the sucker in half with my shovel….

which I never got the chance to do

and I would probably NOT be able to bring myself to do anyway

but it seemed right to try to kill the creepy slithering creepy snake

But the slithering little sucker got away!!

right after I snapped this picture

right after he stuck his tongue out at me!

it just disappeared in that small patch of grass

and now…

he lives  under my patio

I am sure of it!

Growing into a giant slithering reptile

who will slither up my leg  one day while I am walking bare foot in my grass

*shudder*

SEE now  I will have to wear boots with steel toes for the rest of the summer

or use my neighbors back yard

because I will never EVER step bare foot onto my grass again

Ever.

Until next week.

ever.

So there.

I confess.

I fall apart at the seams when there is a small slithering snake present!

so why ?

why is it that I can hold this?

without fear?

Go figure?

I might have gotten a little worried when it started wrapping around my leg there…

Apparently I am not afraid of giant pet snakes

but don’t come anywhere near me with a small slithery looking snake

Thank you very much!

There you have it.

I’m a chicken!

sometimes.

=)

What is the worst thing your cat has brought home?

that is if you have a cat

or had a cat

maybe your neighbors cat brings you things?

do you want to know what my cat is doing now?

how can she lay around and pretend like NOTHING happened yesterday?!

=)

Jenn